Hello! My name is Elizabeth and I’m 39 years old. I was raised by two parents who loved the Lord, and we attended an Assembly of God church. Church is what I did, but never truly grasped or understood God’s love for me or what Jesus did on that cross.
My very first memory was a feeling of deep rejection. As a kid, I was very introverted, withdrawn, and felt awkward and different. In high school I drank for the first time, and it was love at first sight. I couldn’t stop obsessing over when I could drink again. The only time I felt comfortable in my own skin was when I would drink. From then on, I ran as far from God as I possibly could. His hand of love and protection was constantly on me, but I never understood that truth in my heart. I spent an enormous amount of energy trying to escape the hurt and loneliness I felt inside. In the midst of numbing my self-hatred, I was only racking up more pain. What started as one big party, quickly turned into a deep and addictive love for alcohol. My inhibitions wore thin and I was doing things I swore I would never do. Shortly after high school, I was already a functioning alcoholic.
I married a military man at the age of 20 and we moved all over the globe. We had our son by the time I was 21. I was excited to finally have everything I wished for as a little girl. I was a proud mom and military wife. My drinking lessened as I had new priorities. I had my life, well so I thought, under control, until I didn’t. My husband ended up having an affair and my world shattered. The rejection was thick and the lies I believed from the enemy as a little girl crashed in like a wrecking ball. How could this happen? I must not be worth loving. I must not be enough.
I drank with my old familiar friend loneliness. She was right there waiting for me all along. All the pain came rushing back, but this time was compounded. Soon the alcohol wasn’t enough. There were times I knew God was speaking to my heart, but I never listened to that still small voice. He kept reminding me who He was and how He felt about me, but I was bent on doing things my own way. I tried to be the best single mom, make a lot of money, have the best physically fit body, and find someone who would love me. I was living for myself and was completely empty on the inside.
My life went from bad to worse. I dated one toxic man after another and drank into a complete oblivion. My soul was in torment, and I was in complete bondage. I was to the point where I would rather be beat up, than be alone. God’s love kept boxing me in and my plans kept failing. I finally made the move to the Midwest, thinking I was finally submitting to His plans. My location changed, but my heart didn’t, therefore things continued to spiral downward. I’m so thankful for the squad car lights on October 24th, 2024. It wasn’t my first time being arrested, but this time was different. I was finally ready to give it all to Him. I could finally accept my way wasn’t working and it was time to do things His way.
I was 16 years old the first time I was exposed to the ministry of Adult & Teen Challenge at my church. I always knew it was an amazing program for people struggling with addiction, I just never thought it would be for me. The moment I saw those squad car lights I knew I would be going to Adult & Teen Challenge. God literally split the red sea and made a way for me to get to La Crosse from a Minnesota jail cell.
I’ve been here almost 12 months and can’t explain the feeling of freedom. All I know is I can breathe and I have deep purpose. I am finally home in my father’s arms right where He has always wanted me to be. In Matthew 18, Jesus tells a parable about a lost sheep. He leaves the 99 other sheep and goes after the one that wandered away. I am that one! I am learning to receive God’s love day by day and depend on Him for my every need. He has completely transformed my life and I can confidently say, His love is enough.