Hello, my name is Autumn, and I am 29 years old. I grew up with my mom, 2 sisters & brother, in Green Bay WI. As a little girl I was taught to say my bedtime prayers, but we only went to church occasionally. I don’t know if I ever believed that God was real. My dad struggled with alcoholism which resulted in him not being present in our home. I always internalized his absence as something I did wrong. The abandonment I felt was tucked deep within my little heart and created a void I would spend the next 20+ years trying to fill. When I was 6 years old, my parents ended up divorcing and my mom took on the role of being a single mother of 4. She worked hard to provide a comfortable life for us, but our home was filled with stress. Socially, I was outgoing, but deep inside I never felt as though I belonged anywhere.
In 7th grade, my first boyfriend introduced me to marijuana. For the first time I felt accepted and like I fit in. I craved attention and didn’t care how I got it. This led to toxic relationships and behaviors to quiet the voices in my head that told me I was a failure and that I wasn't good enough. By the time I graduated high school I was regularly drinking and using drugs. I was the girl that no one wanted their kid to hang out with.
At this point I believed I was just having “harmless fun”. Unfortunately, I left for college and was in for a rude awakening. In my first semester, I was brutally raped on multiple occasions, lost a loved one, and was arrested for possession of drugs on school property. Turns out, I was a failure. The only way I knew how to cope with the pain and trauma I had endured was to drink and use drugs.
At age 21, I met Mitch. He had previously struggled with a heroin addiction but had been clean for five months when we met. He was the first man who didn’t abuse me, and truly was the light of my life. Not even a month into our relationship, he relapsed and introduced me to heroin. It was love at first sight. All the pain in my life finally disappeared. A couple months into using heroin together, I found out I was 17 weeks pregnant with our daughter. I was terrified for my unborn child because of my reckless behavior. This was enough motivation to quit and stay clean. Our daughter Evelyn was born in 2019, perfectly healthy in every way, which was truly a miracle! Unfortunately, I started using opiates again shortly after she was born. I desperately wanted to be a good mom, but heroin had such a hold on me, and I was in complete bondage. My family stepped in to help with our daughter because of my inability to function as a mother. A couple years later, Mitch ended up dying of a drug overdose. This event caused me to spiral out of control. I became homeless, sold my body for drugs, and lost everyone and everything in my life. Overdosing became a daily norm and my will to live was completely gone. On top of that, I was running from the law. My new boyfriend and I were selling drugs to survive. We fled from the police many times, but knew our time was running out. We were both looking at extensive prison time and lived very recklessly as we had nothing to lose but each other.
On April 12th, 2024, God saved my life. I was arrested and hit my ultimate rock bottom. I sat a year in county jail and sobered up. My heart started to beat again as I picked up a Bible & began to pray. My sentencing was coming, and I was asking God to soften the judge’s heart and allow me to go to Adult and Teen Challenge. Prison is what I deserved, but I was desperate to change my life. I knew I needed help and inner healing; things only Jesus could provide. I was facing 4 years in prison, but God had a different plan for me. My judge ended up sentencing me to ATCWW instead of prison, and in that moment, I knew God was real! I have found peace during my time at ATCWW and a love like I have never known. It is the love of Christ who says I am enough, and I am NEW! I lived in darkness for far too long, but now I follow Christ and His light will always shine brighter. The God I serve is bigger and stronger than any demons I may ever face, and He is healing all my past wounds. Being at ATCWW is such a blessing because I get to build my relationship with God and worship Him every day. I’m learning to replace the lies of the enemy with God’s truth. My life and heart are changing in ways I never knew were possible. I have the will to live again and be the mother my daughter deserves. I am free from the bondage of addiction only by the grace Jesus has offered me! “He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God.” - Psalm 40:2-3